Inuyasha Remix
by XxEijibabyxX
Summary: One of my best friends and I go to Feudal Japan. Everything is about to change because this is the reemmmiiixxxxxx
1. The Beginning

Inuyasha Remix

By: Mrs. Kurosaki & Mrs. Hitsugaya

THE BEGINNING

Hi! I'm Samantha Hitsugaya. I've never been to Japan, but I really want to go. I only know one person that's been there a few times. Her name is Natalie Kurosaki and she's one of my best friends. Natalie has jewel shards. You know, like Kagome in that little glass jar. Natalie if you are reading this, if someone comes into your house when you are sleeping and your jewel shards are missing the next day, it wasn't me... When she was in Japan, she was near a well with the jewel shards and all the Inuyasha fans know that you need jewel shards to go through the Bone Eater's well into the Feudal Era. Natalie was about to jump down the well (okay, it probably will NEVER happen but we are still gonna try it!). She never jumped down the well because people kept interfering. However, she told me she's going to Japan in the near future but that doesn't matter because me, her, and our friend Allie (referred to as Allieieieie Uchihahaha) are going to Japan in a few years. Natalie was over my house one day. She brought her bow and arrows and we shot the hell out of some targets we printed off my computer. We shot Kikyo, Kagome, and Rukia. Alright stop. Rukia is still one of my favorite Bleach characters but she left Ichigo! All alone..anyone who loves him I'm sure would have stayed there with him. Oh and by the way sorry to all the Kikyo and Kagome fans but KIKYO AND KAGOME SUCK TO THE THIRD POWER!!! I can't wait to hear all the flames. I don't care. I hate the little bitches. So we were just chillin' and Natalie's like "Why don't we both go to Japan?" and I was like "Yea." Now this is where the remix starts. My parents would never let me go but this is the remix and I say HELL YEA I'M GOING!

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a/n: alright this is kind of short but this is only the beginning. Chapter 1 is even better...and less boring by the way. Please review :)


	2. Feudal Japan

This is where the remix begins. Natalie and I go to Japan together. To answer the question that most of you people probably want to ask us...no we are not on crack. Please post comments don't care if they are flames or whatever we still want them.

Chapter 1: Japan

So Natalie and I arrived in Japan. Where I never thought I'd be able to go. We went to her uncle's shrine. A while later we were peering over the side of the well, just like she had when she came before. "Are you ready?" Natalie asked handing me one of her jewel shards. "I've been waiting almost 4 years for this moment. Of course I'm ready." We both took the shards, and jumped. And then it came to me... _We're gonna just hit the bottom. Both of us. _Surprisingly we just saw a light and soon, a giant centipede demon was trying to steal our shards. "Let's kick her ass! Prepare to die bitch!" Natalie yelled. When we killed the ugly, half naked thing, I noticed that we were still in the well. One at a time we climbed out. Then I noticed that our surrounding had changed. "Where the fuck are we?" Natalie asked. "I think we're in Feudal Japan...it worked!" Sam said. Then out of nowhere Natalie goes "Daaaaammmnnnn." There were nothing but woods all around. No stores, cars, or people. Just us. "So..uh...what do we do now?" Sam asked. "Look for Inu!" Natalie said. Soon we approached a village. People stared menacingly at us. Then out of no where, Kaede walks up to us and stares. "Yo peace off grandma!" Sam said. "Hi." she replied. "WTF?! Don't say hi you freaky ass pimp!" Natalie said. "Ye aren't from around these parts are ye?" Kaede asked. "Nope." They both replied.

"Can you show us the direction to Inuyasha's forest?" Sam asked. "Why? I will not allow ye to go there." Kaede replied. "Listen," Natalie said "we ain't got time for your life stories. And stop with the ye thing it's annoying. Now show us the damn way!" At this point, Kaede didn't care. She was clearly irritated with us so she just pointed the way to the forest. "Thank you!" Sam yelled back as they walked away. So they kept walking. About ½ way through the forest, Sam (the klutz that she was) trips over and "imaginary" rock. Natalie helped her up and as soon as they turned around to continue looking for Inu...there he was. On the big tree that Kinky ho pinned him to. "OH MY GOD!" Sam screamed. "The ears...I-I have to...tweak them!" Sam walked up to him and reached for his ears while Natalie reached for the arrow. About 30 seconds later, Inu awoke and peered into Sam's eyes. "Hey! Get off of my ears!" He yelled. Then he looked at Natalie "Who the hell are you people? Why did you pull out that arrow and...hey isn't some chick named Kagome supposed to save me?" he said.

Then, instead of the centipede coming back to destroy the village, another girl walked up to the big tree. She stared in amazement at the scene. "B-but I-I was supposed to save him!" Kagome said. Inuyasha just stared. "Is there something I'm missing? He said confused. "I was supposed to-" Natalie cut her off "WE are the ones who were spose' to save you. You've been asleep for 50 years." "Ooooh...then what is she doing here?" Inu asked pointing to Kagome. "The idiot "fell" down a well trying to get her cat." Sam explained. "She's going back to her time right now." Natalie said. Her and Sam both somewhat carried the fatty to the well and threw her into it. "Goodbye bitch." they both said. "HEY! HEYYY! What about me?!" Inu complained. "We didn't forget" Sam said. Both girls helped him from the tree. "Wait, this is the part when I'm supposed to try to kill Kagome but she isn't here." Inu said. Then Kaede reappeared at the top of a nearby cliff. "Do ye realize what ye have done?" She said. "Shut up hag." Inu said. Then, as Inu went to kill her, she pulled out a dark necklace. "One of ye say that word." She told Natalie and I. "SIT!" We both yelled at the same time. Inu fell hard to the ground. "Bitches! Why'd you do that?" He yelled.

"That's what we were supposed to do. It was going to happen either way even if Kagome was here." Sam explained. "Oh...damn you all." Inu said.

-Line Break-

(At Kaede's house)

"So ye too are searching for the sacred jewel are ye not?" Kaede said. "Damn straight we are. We're gonna help Inu." Natalie said. "Oh helllll no!" Inu replied. "Listen, we are supposed to help you." Sam explained. "Yo momma!" he retorted. "Stop it. Inuyasha you are going to help these girls find a way to return to their own time." Kaede said. "Fuck you." Inu said while lying down facing the other direction. Later, Kaede gave the jewel to Sam and Natalie. "Alright Sam. Hand it over!" Natalie said. "Let's make a deal, we take turns wearing it. I'll wear it today, you tomorrow, and so on." So they agreed. That night, Inu stayed up and destroyed all the demons that were after the jewel. The next day, Sam gave the jewel to Natalie. As they walked around the village, people stared in amazement at the jewel. For some unknown reason, they kept giving them stuff (O.O). Sometime later while walking alongside a river, Sam and Natalie heard a loud "HELP ME!". We were like "WTF?!" and then noticed a little boy that had fallen into the river. "We should help him." Sam said. "Yeah" Natalie agreed.

They dived in and swam over to him. "How the hell do they do that?" Some random person asked. So we helped the little brat to safety (shut up some of you would to). Then this like...really big birdie comes and steals our jewel and we're all like "Come back here you bitch!" "Get on my back one of you. Hurry." Inu says. So Natalie takes this guy's bow and arrows and gets on. By the way, Sam (that's me) is a bad archer. I can't shoot an arrow to save my life. Ask Natalie. The freaking arrow came back in my face. Anyway Natalie tries to hit the bird but misses twice. "Hit the damn thing already!" Inu yelled. "I'm trying!" Natalie replied. So this time, she put all her effort and hits the bird dead in the center. However, the jewel busts into like a million pieces. Both Inu and Natalie return to the ground and Sam comes running. "What the hell was that?!" She yelled.

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Yeah...most of this is like basically the same thing as the anime but in chapter 2, our quest begins and we meet Miroku and let me tell you he's gonna get his ass kicked for what he does to me and Natalie. Coming soon: Chapter 2: The Pervert


	3. The Pervert

Inuyasha Remix

Chapter 2: The Pervert

"What the hell?" She yelled. "What do yo mean what the hell? It was the perfect shot!" Natalie shot back. "You broke it. When the bird took the jewel, he swallowed it and you killed him but you hit the jewel too." Inu explained. "Oh. Well now my life is more interesting." Natalie said. "WHAT!?!?" Sam yelled.

-Line break-

(Once again at Kaede's house)

Kaede: Okay which one of ye shattered the jewel?

(Inu and Sam point to Natalie)

Natalie: Hey! That stupid bird stole the jewel. It was either kill him or let him steal the whole thing! Oh and Kaede, I told you to stop saying ye it's annoying.

Kaede: ye ye ye ye ye ye ye ye ye

Natalie: Old and unattractive bitch.

Kaede: . . .

Sam: Stop. We need the jewel.

Inuyasha: She's right We need to find the shards.

Kaede: Right. Ye need to go find them. All of ye Staring tomorrow ye begin the quest.

Inuyasha: Quest?! Me...them...uh-uh no way.

Natalie and Sam: We have to!

Sam: We're going on the gay quest so get over it!

Inuyasha: Feh. Whatever.

(They go outside and Sam picks up a pink glowing thing off the ground)

Sam: Hey it's one of the shards!

Inuyasha: It's gonna take forever to find them all.

Natalie: Inu's right. Sorry about that.

Sam: Sorry? Now we get to spend more time with Inu!

Natalie: (smiles) This is freaking awesome.

(That evening/night)

Sam and Natalie decided to go to one of the hot springs. Inuyasha kept guard so no perverted people would look. "Don't think about looking!" Sam told him wagging her finger in his face. "I have no interest in doing that." he replied. Natalie gave him the "I'm watching you" look and said "You look, you die!" But what everyone didn't know, was that some perverted dumbass was on the other side of one of the rocks on the opposite side of Inuyasha. "I should've stayed with that badger..." He said to himself. "This is great!" Natalie said aloud. Miroku quietly stared at them from a distance. "A girl!" he smiled. "Yea. You said it!" Sam then said out loud. "TWO girls!!" Miroku then turned away. "No...this isn't right. I should leave...but maybe...one more look." He looked again but this time..."Kyaaa!!" Inu got up. "What's wrong?" he asked. "AAAH! We're um uh...fine go away!!!" Sam yelled.

"Actually I think I saw something over there." Natalie said and pointed to where Miroku was. "Shit! She saw me!" Miroku said to himself. He was about to escape when "Where are you going?" The badger (someone tell me his name!) asked. "Away!" he replied and ran away. The badger followed. As soon as they disappeared, Sam and Natalie peered over the rock he was behind but instead of the monk, they found a little fox demon. "Who the hell are you?" Natalie asked. "Hi! Can I join you on your quest? I'm a fox demon. My parents are dead. My father got killed by the thunder brothers." Shippo said really really fast. "Why should we let you come?" Inu questioned. "Inu! Of course you can. What's your name?" Natalie asked. "Shippo." He replied. "Yeah you can come." Sam said. "Besides you're really cute!" Natalie said. "Whatever." Inu said. They began walking alongside a cliff.

Meanwhile...above them

"Ok. You want me to attack the guy in red?" The badger asked. "Yes." Miroku replied. He stared at the girls. "Must...ask to...bear children." He mumbled. "Miroku...might I suggest prostitution?" The badger said interrupting Miroku's sick, perverted thoughts. Just then a giant rock started rolling down the cliff towards everyone. "Move out of the way! Some asshole is trying to attack!" Inu yelled. Taking his advice, they jumped out of the way and both yelled "INUYASHA!!" As they fell farther down the cliff, Inu thought "I need to kill this bitch!" He reached for his tensusaiga. "HEY! Where's my fucking sword?!" Inu yelled. He looked up. "Samantha? Natalie? Hey!" They weren't there. Miroku had kidnaped them. "What do we look like a prize?" Natalie asked. Miroku ignored them. Meanwhile, Inu got ready to use iron reaver soul stealer. Then there was a giant poof and a little badger appeared. "For the love of God please stop! Don't kill me!!!" He begged. "Fuck you. Shippo! Where are Sam and Natalie?" Inu asked. "Some guy kidnaped them." He replied. "WHAT?! Why didn't you stop him?" Inu questioned.

"Well, if I went too, there would be no one here to tell you what happened." Shippo explained. "Oh...let's go!" Inu said and as soon as they began running, Sam and Natalie appeared not too far ahead. "Dude! You skipped like half the anime!"Inu complained. "Whoops...forgot about that." Sam said. "I don't have any sword. Explain that!" Inu said. "Speaking of not having things, that dude took our shards..." Natalie said. "Ugh..great!" Inu said. They began looking for Miroku. After a while they decided to just chill. "Let's eat or something. We'll search later." Shippo said. Then Inu, started sniffing the ground for his scent. "Inu people are staring!" Natalie whispered. "Hey! What you got a staring problem?" Sam yelled. Everyone continued to do what they were doing. Then Inu saw Miroku walk inside a nearby building. "C'mon let's go!" He said and they ran into the building and entered the room he was in. "Alright give the shards back now!" Sam yelled. "Or what?" he asked. "We'll kick you in the balls."Natalie threatened.

He ran out of the building and we chased him to this giant tree on the outskirts of the village. Miroku turned around and held out his hand to use wind tunnel. "I am a monk. I go by the name Miroku." he said and began to suck everything up that was in the way. Natalie jumped in the way to save Inu. Miroku didn't want to suck her up so he closed his wind tunnel and Natalie landed on top of him. Inu came running over along with the others. "You could've gotten killed!" Inu said. "I didn't want you to die. You know...this guy could help us." Natalie said. _After all _she thought _what the hell is up with his hand? _Then Miroku rubbed her butt. Natalie stood up, did her little leaf hurricane kick and kicked him right in the spotlight. "I was wrong," she said "kick his ass!"

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I'll explain the leaf hurricane thing. See Natalie does this kick that looks just like Rock Lee's leaf hurricane. She made her brother like fly one day. It was pretty funny too. Anyway in Chapter 3, Inu finally gets his sword and...they decide if Miroku is coming with them or not.


	4. Tensusaiga

Inuyasha Remix

Chapter 3: Tensusaiga

"I was wrong," she said "kick his ass!" Natalie walked over to the others.

Inu: Perv. You blew it!

Miroku: (Getting up) W-wait! Inuyasha let me explain.

Inu: So you know me huh?

Miroku: Yes. I believe those beautiful ladies said it earlier.

Sam: He can't be that bad the way he talks.

Shippo: Dude! He stole our shards!

Later...

"So you are looking for the shards too? Why?" Sam asked. "Some asshole named Naraku cursed my grandfather's right hand with this ugly hole and it is passed down through generations. Maybe that's why I don't attract women!" Miroku explained. "Wow...cool." Shippo said. "No. Not cool. If I don't kill that ugly shim, the hole will grow like really big and suck me up and I'll die." He said. "So is this gay bastard looking for the jewel too?" Natalie asked. "Psshh hell yeah! He like killed some priestess like 50 years ago or something like that." he replied. Inuyasha's expression changed and he stood up. "Priestess?" _It must have been Kikyo! _He thought. "Where is he now and what does he look like?" Inu asked grabbing the front of Miroku's shirt. "I don't know that! If I knew, that shim would be dead by now!" he replied. "We should look for the shards together." Natalie said. "Yeah cause you'll die if we don't do anything right?" Sam asked.

"So...are you worried about my fate? Then please, if I may ask, bear my children! I wish for them to take over when I die." He said. "PEACE OFF!" Natalie yelled backing away. "Mega perv!" Sam said doing the same thing. "Hey! Back off. All you wanna do is hit on hit chicks...I mean girls like these." Inu said stepping infront of the girls. "Oh, I see, you are clearly in love with them Inuyasha." Miroku said and then smiled. Inuyasha began to blush. "Hell no! They are just my jewel detectors!" Inu lied. "Well then! Fuck you Inu. SIT!" Sam yelled. He stood back up. "SIT!" Natalie said. He then fell again to the ground.

"You know, we might just go with Miroku. After all he is a hell of a lot nicer!" Sam said. "Agreed. Inu is so stubborn." Shippo said. "Well," began Miroku "you could be a little nicer." "What do you know besides grabbing women's assess all the time?" Inu yelled back. "Oh Inu..." Sam said. "What?" he asked. "SIT!" she replied. "Biiittcccchh!" he mumbled.

(They agree for now that Miroku should join them and continue traveling)

While walking, Sesshomaru, Jen (one of my other bestestest friends), and Rin appear in the distance. Soon, everyone had crossed paths. "Inuyasha..." Sesshi said quietly. "Sesshomaru." Inu mumbled. "JEN!" Sam yelled. "SAMI!" she shouted. "How'd you get here?" Sam asked. "Sesshi took me here. It beats the hell out of being at home." she replied. "Where is the unworthy one?" Sam asked. "Jaken? We killed him a long time ago. Me, Fluffykinz, Shino, Itachi, and Kyo." she explained. "So you're awake. Who pulled the arrow? Her, or her?" Sesshi asked pointing at the girls. "I did." Natalie said. "Are you on something? We don't need anymore mentally retarted people. By the way Inuyasha you are too late." Sesshi said. "Huh? For what?" Inu asked. Sesshi pulled a big sword from it's sheath and held it up high for Inu to see. "You song of a batch of cookies! That was supposed to be my sword!!" Inu complained. "Stupid hanyou. You know that I am a better wielder than you are. I was like destined to have it or something. Now that you were late I also still have my left arm!" Sesshi teased. "Yeah but Inu needs that. This fanfiction is gonna suck if Inu doesn't have tensusaiga. I will get lots of flames!" Sam said.

"Well, let's make a deal, I keep tensusaiga and give you tensaiga." Sesshi said. "What if Jen suddenly died? Without tensaiga, there would be no more Jen." Inu explained. "Damn, that actually makes sense! Want a doggie treat?" Sesshi once again teased. "Come here you ungrateful bastard!" Inu yelled. He began to run toward Sesshomaru getting ready to use iron reaver soul stealer. "SIT!" Sam yelled. "Inuyasha. How rude. No dog treats for you Mr.!" Natalie said. "Would you quit it with the dog jokes? Oh and didn't it ever occur to you that it's very painful when you say that word?" Inu asked. "What? Sit?" Natalie said teasing him. Inu for a second time hit the ground hard. "Stop you bitch!" He yelled. The whole time Sesshi and Jen are laughing their assess off in the background. "Pathetic hanyou." Sesshi said. "Give me tensusaiga right now or else!" Inu yelled. "Or else what?" Sesshi asked. "Or I'll tell everyone what you do." Inu replied with a smirk. "You wouldn't dare!" Sesshi said. "Hey everyone! Listen up! Guess what Sesshomaru likes to do?" Inu shouted so everyone could hear. "Shuuuuunnnn you bastard! Shuuuuuuunnn!" Sesshi said covering Inu's mouth.

"What? Is it something bad?" Jen asked. "No..no it's nothing!" Sesshi replied. "You act like you are hiding something! What is it?" Jen asked getting closer to Sesshi. "He just wants to tell you that-" Inu tried to say but Sesshi interrupted. "Inuyasha don't do it. I'll give you tensusaiga." He said grabbing it from it's sheath. He handed the big sword to Inu hoping he wouldn't tell everyone his secret. Inu grabbed the sword and the sheath, then turned around to face everyone and said out loud: "Sesshomaru wears a wig and likes to dance around at night in a tutu." Sesshomaru's face turned bright red. Everyone began to laugh, even Jen. "YOU ASSHOLE!!" Sesshomaru screamed. He turned around and began to run away as fast as he could. "Lord Sesshomaru wait up!" Rin yelled. She took Jen who continued to laugh her ass off and they went after Sesshomaru. "Now we can really start searching for the jewel shards." Inu said looking at his sword. However, he didn't know that the sword wasn't transformed. Then, he felt something bite him on the neck. A bug...

"Myoga? Dude can you say something instead of just being all quiet and stuff?" Inu asked hitting the side of his neck. Myoga stood up. "Master Inuyasha. The tensusaiga is supposed to transform." he explained. "Oh...why doesn't anyone tell me these things?" he asked. "What the fuck?! How do you not know these things?" Myoga asked. "Well SOMEONE skipped like half the anime." Inu said looking at Sam. "Hey I forgot okay! Besides, this is the remix." Sam said. "Psshh whatever." Inu started walking away. "Are you guys coming or not? I'll leave you behind." he said. Then this like midget runs right into Inu and just stares. "Watch where you're going!" Inu said. "Don't kill me demon please!" he pleaded and ran away. "Freaky ass people...I am not a demon for the last time!" Inu said. _What's his problem? Why does he reek of ink? _Everyone continued to walk until they approached another village. "We should rest and continue looking tomorrow." Miroku said. The others agreed and started heading toward the town's inn.

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This chapter is kind of short but I don't feel like typing today so like yeah. Don't think I'm dissing Sesshomaru. Inu is supposed to have the tensusaiga. Like I said earlier in the fanfiction, without it this fanfiction would suck. It probably already sucks to some of you people who don't like Inu. Review me your flames so I know!


	5. Yo momma

Inuyasha Remix

Chapter 4: Yo momma

The next day they continued to search for the shards. Soon they approached a bunch of dead bodies. "Inuyasha," Shippo whispered "I see dead people!" Inu turned around and hit Shippo on the head. "Hey! You're so mean Inuyasha!" Shippo yelled hiding behind Sam. "SIT dammit!" Natalie said. "No!" Inu yelled before falling face first to the ground...again. "You know, you would figure with all these dead people it would smell like blood but it doesn't." Inu said still on the ground. "No blood? That's weird. What does it smell like?" Natalie asked. "Ink," he replied "lots and lots of ink." "Whoever did this demon or not must have a jewel shard." Miroku said. "Dude...I have no interest in working with you so go jump off a cliff." Inu said. "Well fine then. I'll leave now." Miroku began to walk away.

"Inuyasha we could use him. Remember he has that wind thingie." Shippo said. However Inu was busy pestering this random person...

Random person: Hey I need that!

Inu: Why do you smell like ink? Like all those dead people.

Random person: C'mon I have to give that to my master. Let go demon!

Inu: I'm not a demon baka. I asked you a question now answer me dammit!

Sam: Let him go right now Mr.!

Inu: But he smells the same as those dead people.

Natalie: Inuyasha you freaking animated daisy baka...SIT!

Inu: Fuck...

-Random guy runs away-

Later...

Inu: Hey. What's that smell?

Sam: Tacos.

Natalie: WTF?! This is the Feudal Era there is no tacos!

Shippo: What's a taco?

Sam: It's a-

Inu: No time. Let's find out where it's coming from.

Inuyasha continued to sniff the ground which once again caused a scene.

-Meanwhile at some random inn-

"I detect an ominous cloud." Miroku said to the people at the front of the inn. "Fuck you monk. There is no cloud okay? Some dude comes to bless this place every year so PEACE OFF!" One of the men said. "No need to curse. Gosh you're so mean. I bet that's why no one stays here." Miroku said. He turned around and began walking away. _I guess I'll have to sleep outside tonight_ He thought. Then this like huge black cloud came out of no where. _I was right! _"Hey you! Yea you two. Run away!!!" He yelled. "Someone save the princess!" Some random person yelled. "I'll save you!" Miroku ran into the inn. "Help me. Oh help me somebody HELP!" The princess yelled in a girly voice. Miroku ran into the room and without looking at the princess immediately started destroying the demons until out of no where you hear "STOP!" The demons all turned to ink. _WTF? _"That was so cool how did you do that?" The princess asked. Or so Miroku thought it was a princess. He turned around to explain but instead recoiled in horror. The princess wasn't a princess. It was but a gay guy dressed in clothes a princess would wear.

"HOLY SHIT YOU'RE A DUDE?!" He yelled. "What's wrong? I heard yelling from this room. Is everything okay?" The headman asked. "No daddy this really hot monk was just a little shocked when he found out I'm not a princess." The gay guy explained. "Oh yeah...about that. See we tell people he's a princess so if something bad were to happen like earlier, someone would save him because I mean he acts like a princess. The poor bastard is helpless for crying out loud." The headman explained. "Whatever. Can this guy like stay here the night? He's hot." The gay guy asked staring menacingly at Miroku. "No I think I'd better go now." Miroku said backing away slowly...towards the door. "No please stay! It's the least we can do." The headman said.

"Hitting on more women eh?" Inu said. Inu, Sam, Natalie, and Shippo appeared at the door. "Ewwwww Miroku! It's a guy! Are you gay?" Sam asked. "What's gay mean?" Shippo asked. "I'm not gay, Shippo you don't need to know, and can we please leave soon before I get seduced by a gay guy?" Miroku said glancing back and forth between them and the gay guy. "Well fine but at least can I have a hug before you go?" The gay guy asked.

"I really must go now...bye!"

"Wait!"

"Peace off!"

The gay guy began to chase Miroku around the room.

"ALL I WANT IS A HUG!" He yelled with his arms out trying to grab Miroku. C'mon we need to find out where that smell is coming from NOW!" Inu said.

20 minutes later...

"Thanks for saving my ass back there. I was about to get raped." Miroku said. "What does rape mean?" Shippo asked. Everyone remained silent. Sam and Natalie walked behind Miroku (so he wouldn't try any perverted things), Shippo sat on Sam's shoulder, and Inu stayed clung to the ground following the awesomeness taco smell. Soon Inu came upon a pair of feet. "Oh my God dude. Watch where you're-" Inu stared at the person infront of him. "YOU!" They yelled at the same time. It happened to be the painter guy. "You smell like a taco. Start talking!" Inu said.

"Demon! AAAHHH!" He yelled trying to run away. Inu grabbed his shirt and held him up. "Why do you smell like tacos. Where did you get them?" Inu asked. "There he goes again. SI-" Sam tried to say but Inu cut her off. "WAIT!" Inu yelled. He slowly put the guy down hoping she wouldn't say it. "Now I'll explain. I went to Taco Bell earlier. That is why you smelled tacos. Can I leave now so I can eat them?" The guy asked. "Not so fast chubaka. Give us the shard." Sam said.

Inu: you can see the shards?

Painter guy: What shard?

Natalie: I can see them too. Miroku has 3.

Miroku: So you CAN see them!

Inu: Hand them over!

Painter guy: no!

The painter guy started to run away but instead of escaping, he took several scrolls from the thing on his back. The paintings on the scroll began to come to life. Hundreds of demons made of ink started attacking Inuyasha. Inu however destroyed them easily. "You'll have to do better than that!" he said. _I guess it's time for that scroll. _The painter guy thought. He took out a really really think scroll and launched it at Inu. He dodged the scroll and it fell to the ground. "What the hell was that?!" Inu asked. The painter guy turned around and pointed at the scroll. Inu looked as it unfolded and out stepped a short but really fat lady. "Who is THAT?" Shippo asked. "Behold! It's my mom!" The guy said.

"Your mom?"

"My mom."

"Your mom?"

"Yes yes my mom!"

"Think about that though. Your mom."

"Shut up. Demon."

"I'm not a demon!"

"Yes you are!"

"Your mom!"

"YOUR mom!"

"Shut up!" his mom yelled. She walked over to her son. "Sorry mom." he said. "You were always useless. Hey...are those tacos?" she asked. "Back off. I bought these from Taco Bell myself. Besides I just took you to McDonalds. Then out of no where she had a heart attack. "Mom? Are you okay?" He asked. "Too much salt...from big mac...light...I see the light...and a big mac." She replied with her last words. "Oh crap." He said. "Quick where's the shard?" Inu asked Sam and Natalie. "In his ink pot!" Natalie replied. The little midget tried to run away but Inu already grabbed the ink pot from his back. The ink quickly headed toward the painters blood. However it killed him instead. Sam walked over to the jewel shard.

_That shard is evil. I wouldn't touch it. _Miroku thought. However, when Sam touched the shard, she purified it and it wasn't evil anymore. She gave it to Natalie to put it with her other shards. "Anybody want a taco?" Inu asked walking over to them with a bunch of tacos. "Hey he even had nachos!" Natalie said.

After dinner...

"So you're coming?" Sam asked. "Yes. I will accompany you on your journey." Miroku replied. "Let's go to Taco Bell more often." Inu said. "What I want to know is how the hell he got tacos in this era." Natalie said. Then out of no where comes this dancing banana with sunglasses and the song "Peanut butter jelly time" started playing.

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Oh and just to answer everyone's question that you are going to ask me in your review, No. I am not on crack. See you in chapter 5!


	6. Payback

Inuyasha Remix : Chapter 5

Okay we're back. You might find this chapter disturbing if you are a Sesshomaru fan and don't like Michael Jackson. We once again find everyone outside instead of sleeping in an inn. Miroku is afraid of getting raped. He even stopping hitting on women for a while (gasp). They were sitting around a fire near a cliff. Everyone was just about to go to sleep but as always (even in the real anime), there is some ass tart that likes to show up to piss everyone off. Out of nowhere, smoke started to appear. . .a lot of it. "Hey, I know that smell!" Inuyasha said.

"What is it now?" Sam asked.

"Probably more tacos. I'm going back to sleep." Natalie said and lay back down.

"Haha very funny guys. No it's not tacos. I smell a human." Inuyasha explained.

"Who?" Sam asked. But before Inu could reply, a figure started to appear beyond the smoke.

"Hee hee!"a voice said. The smoke slowly faded. Miroku and Shippo were asleep and they were lucky. Sam, Natalie, and Inuyasha stared in horror at the scene infront of them. Sesshomaru was standing in the open, with a creepy smile and he made this scarring Michael Jackson move. "Hey everybody! Hee hee! Yea that was fun! I love you!" He said in a Michael Jackson accent

"YOU!" Inuyasha yelled. He stood up and pointed at Sesshomaru.

"I think I've just been scarred for life." Natalie said. She shook her head.

"Inuyasha I shall kill you right here and right now! Then I will kidnap little boys with Gin and Aizen and have a rape party in their ice cream truck!" Sesshomaru explained making another Michael Jackson move.

"Oh! When you do that, don't forget to kidnap my brother Mike!" Natalie said.

"Gin already has him. Everyone we kidnap is named Mike. Stop getting off topic. DIE INUYASHA!" Sesshomaru yelled. Inuyasha pulled Tensusaiga from it's sheath.

"Bring it on!" Inuyasha shouted. Sesshomaru danced toward Inuyasha. He ended with the moon walk and slapped Inu in the face.

"What the hell is this?" Natalie asked.

"Bullshit illusion move." Sam replied. Inuyasha swung his sword at Sesshomaru but he dodged it.

"Alright that's it! WINDSCAR!" Inuyasha yelled. Sesshomaru quickly pulled out a mirror and reversed the attack. Inu dodged it.

"Inuyasha be careful!" Sam shouted.

"Dude he's gonna win. Don't be Kagome."

"Your right. I can make him win!"

"Duh you dumbass!"

"Shut up!"

The fight lasted a long time. It was mostly the same stuff. Inuyasha was recklessly swinging his sword and Sesshomaru doing creepy Michael Jackson things. After another 10 minutes or so, Miroku and Shippo began to wake up.

"What's going on?" Miroku asked.

"Another pointless fight." Natalie replied.

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I will protect you."

"Peace off you whack job!"

"You always do this. You show up and act all dee dee dee trying to kill me and then run away like haha!" Inuyasha complained.

"Inuyasha. . . Inuyasha you don't understand. Big fights make this anime less boring." Sesshomaru explained.

"But it's the same fucking fight. You pull some bullshit illusion move then come back and do it again! What the fuck?" Inuyasha said.

"Such language Inuyasha. Infront of these young ladies and that kid." Sesshomaru teased.

"I'm not a kid dammit!" Shippo yelled.

"WHAT!?! You show up with the most degrading seen ever and you talk about language. You are ass backwards!" Inuyasha screamed.

"I wouldn't say such things. You wouldn't want me to tell everyone your little secret like you did to me." Sesshomaru threatened.

"Oh my God is that what this is about?" Inuyasha asked looking more pissed off every second.

"Ooohhh the secret." Sam said.

"I was so humiliated. Jen almost died of laughter. She was scaring doctors! Inuyasha you will pay!"

"What the hell are you gonna do?" Inuyasha asked.

"You know. Last Halloween remember?"Sesshomaru teased.

"You wouldn't dare!" Inuyasha said.

"Remember when you dressed as a-" Inuyasha interrupted him in the middle of the sentence.

"Stop no don't do it! If Sam found out she would kill me!" Inuyasha explained.

"Found out what?" Sam asked.

"Hey, Sam doesn't have to write what I was going to say you know." Sesshi said.

"Yea but the people out there want to know. This fanfiction is going downhill because of your gay fight." Sam said. They both stared in amazement.

"Damn." Inuyasha said.

"What Sesshomaru was going to say was-" Sam began to say but was cut off.

"Noooo! I want to tell him!" Sesshomaru said.

"Whatever say it sooner or later or I'll get flames!" Sam said.

"Please don't!"

"Oh Halloween..."

"No stop!"

"Inuyasha..."

"Nooooo!"

"dressed like a hooker and didn't take off the clothes until one week later when mom found out."

"You bastard! I hate you!" Inuyasha said.

"I shall be going now." Sesshomaru said smiling. As smoke started to come out of nowhere, Sesshomaru was about to leave when, "The next time we meet Inuyasha, I will send you to ramen rehab where then...you will finally die!" Sesshomaru explained.

"I still have ramen!" Inuyasha said.

"By the way, I ate all of your ramen." Sesshomaru teased. Inuyasha gasped.

"I'm...I'm telling on you!" He yelled. Inuyasha ran up to Sam and Natalie and started complaining.

"SIT!" Both girls screamed.

"Hee hee!"Sesshomaru said still smiling while disappearing in the smoke. The smoke faded and he was gone.

"You won't get away with this!" Inuyasha yelled.

"He's gone now. Get up." Natalie said.

"Who does he think he is? When he comes back he's goin' down!" Inuyasha yelled.

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Ok this chapter was a little shorter than all the others but I didn't feel like writing that much so STOP MAKING ME THINK!!! By the way Sesshomaru is the mail man. Me and Jen hung out yesterday. We went to go visit one of our bestestest friends Chiamaka and he almost cut off this guy and then he almost hit this parked car. Shame on you Sesshomaru! See you in chapter 6.


	7. Drunk

Inuyasha Remix : Chapter 6

Drunk

"Now what?" Sam asked.

"Go to sleep dammit!" said Natalie but like in almost every anime, night goes by in like 2 seconds. "What the hell is this? I feel so cheated!" Everybody got ready to continue on their journey.

"You know, we should take the day off. No one got any sleep, and Inuyasha you have this random scratch on your face." Sam explained.

"AAAHHH Sesshomaru you gigantic asshole!" Inuyasha screamed.

"We should visit Kaede's village. Sam is right. We are taking the day off." Miroku said. They began heading toward Kaede's village. However, Sam just realized that she had something for Inuyasha's scratch.

"Hey Inuyasha, I have band-aids for your scratch come here." Sam said.

"NOOO," He screamed "stay away from me! They leave marks and hurt when you take them off!" After the little scene, the continued walking toward the village. Soon, Shippo got hungry.

"I'm hhuunnggrryy. Can we stop to eat please?" Shippo asked.

"We'll eat when we get there." Sam replied.

"Are we there yet?" Shippo asked.

"No dammit! Now keep walking we'll be there soon." Natalie said. About forty-five minutes went by. They finally had gotten to Kaede's village and looked for her house.

"Hey! Old and ancient are you home?" Inuyasha shouted.

"Inuyasha? Oh, it's ye people. What might ye be doing here in me little village?"

"Me? Your not Mr. Krabs so stop saying that. Oh and I'm gonna beat you with your cane if you keep saying ye." Natalie threatened.

"We came here to steal your lucky charms! Just kidding. We came because Inuyasha got into another fight with Sesshomaru and got a boo boo." Miroku explained.

"A boo boo eh? It sounds serious. You belong in the pathetic loser village next door." Kaede said.

"Stop it! Dude do you have any medicine or not?" Inuyasha asked sounding aggravated.

"Yes. Come here." She replied. The group chillaxed at Kaede's house for about a half hour waiting for Kaede to finish putting ointment on Inu's boo boo. "You are welcome to stay the night here everybody." Kaede said.

"Thank you." Everyone but Inuyasha said in unison.

"Now Inuyasha, would you like a doggie treat?" Kaede teased.

"Yea I wou- hey! Stop cracking dog jokes!" Inuyasha yelled. Everyone started laughing at the now extremely pissed off Inuyasha. Kaede, laughing so hard, almost broke her hip because her cane almost slipped out of her hands. Therefore making her unable to walk. As soon as they stopped laughing, there was silence.

"So, since you aren't doing anything at the moment, I need you to do something for me." Kaede said.

"Does it involve risking our lives?" Miroku asked.

"No...well maybe. I need you all to go to Mount Rangiku and fetch me a bottle of sake. It is said that a young woman appearing drunk, seems to always be roaming around there having hangovers." Kaede explained.

"Why do you need sake?" Shippo asked.

"No questions just go!" She replied. The group hurried out the door and began yet another pointless quest for something unneeded. Mount Rangiku came into view.

"There it is. Mt. Rangiku." Miroku said.

"Stop stating the obvious!" Natalie said.

-Dora the explorer comes out of no where-

"I am going to tell you how to get to the sake. WHERE IS THE MAP!?!?!" She began explaining.

"_What the fuck...?" _Everyone thought. She began explaining again.

"Go down this path, around the hill, and through the cave. Can you do it?" Everyone stared in horror. Finally Inuyasha came up and nailed her in the face.

"C'mon let's go," he said "we don't have time for this!" They continued walking down the path. As they approached the hill that wrapped around the mountain and led up to the top, the air started getting more dense with mist. Soon, there was so much mist that you couldn't really see the mountain. That didn't stop them though.

"The air smells funny." said Shippo.

"Just shut up and keep walking." Inuyasha said. About half way up the mountain, they knew why it was called Mt. Rangiku. In the distance, there appeared to be a woman. She was tall with orange hair and...did she have plastic surgery because her boobs were bowling balls! She was also carrying a bottle of sake and...what is this? She's wobbling like she had a hangover recently. The group approached her cautiously.

"Hee hee ha ha ho ho. H-hey! H-here, have...h-have some sake. OMG! I-it's the dragon. C-come back! I- I need m-more sake!" She said leaving the group much confused. She stumbled off the cliff after the imaginary dragon.

"That must have been Rangiku." Miroku stated.

"Why do all these people end up in the wrong animes?" Sam asked.

"I know! Rangiku, that damn drunkie that she is, belongs in bleach dammit.!" Natalie said. About another fifty yards and Inuyasha was done for.

"If you like pina colodas, get caught in the rain!" he began singing. Everyone remained in silence but not much longer later, Miroku started feeling funny.

"Hey you!" he began saying pointing to Natalie. "I've seen you! Yea you look like my next girlfriend!"

"Sam, kill me now why don't ya." Natalie said shaking her head. Unfortunately Sam was not paying attention. She was in her own world too.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" She said randomly and smiled. "I'm so happy look at me, I'm Inu's wifee 1, 2, 3!" Natalie started walking away. She headed toward the cave leaving her once normal friends rolling on the ground behind her. However, she noticed that Shippo had been following her. He wasn't in the way so she just kept going. It became harder to breathe, the higher up that they were. Natalie began hallucinating. She saw the dragon and dropped on her knees.

"Can't...go on...Shippo...you must get the sake...and find help." She managed to say. Shippo kept walking. The smoke seemed to take no effect on him. The cave seemed miles away but he knew he must get the sake or god for bid Kaede would have herself a heart attack. He finally made it to the top. However, another woman came upon the cave suddenly.

"Who are you?" Shippo asked.

"Who are YOU?" She repeated.

"Listen, I need your help." He said trying to hold the sake bottle, preventing it from dropping.

"My name is Sango. What's the problem?" She asked.

"My friends got a little drunk from the mist. Come with me." Shippo said. Sango followed him to the embarrassing scene. When they arrived, she took out what looked like a giant boomerang, and threw it at them after yelling "Hirakotsu" out loud. The boomerang swung in a circle hitting everyone but Shippo.

"What happened?" Inuyasha asked.

"My head," Sam said. "It's killing me!" Inuyasha carried her on his back, Shippo sat on Miroku's shoulder, and they went to go get Natalie. Then they could finally take the sake back to Kaede's village.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I finally decided to finish this chapter! Yay. I was actually listening to the Pina Coloda song while writing this. Yes, I downloaded it. I like that song (shut up some of you people do too). Listening to Nickleback right now. Then later i'm gonna go steal people's cookies and coffee with Gaara. See you in chapter 7! Will they be able to get the sake back to the village?


	8. Mission Impossible

Inuyasha Remix - Chapter 7

Mission Impossible

We now find our group heading toward Kaede's village. They all climbed onto Kirara's back earlier on the mountain. Natalie who was unconscious, finally began to wake up. "Where are we?" She asked looking around.

"HI!" Sam yelled, coming out of no where. "We're in mid air. We're riding on a cat named Kirara who belongs to Sango, who is over there." She stopped and pointed to Sango.

"AAAHHH! Holy shit! We're in mid-air!?" Natalie screamed, shocked at the fact that Kirara could actually hold the whole group. She looked pissed off, but not for long because there seemed to be a faint smell of cat nip in the air.

"Kirara NO! We're going down!" yelled Sango. When everyone hit the ground, Kirara ran into the forest. "Come back!!" Sango cried.

"We'll find her sooner or later." said Sam.

"Yeah I guess. C'mon let's go join the others. We need to find a way to get back to Kaede's village and find Kirara." Sango explained. She sighed heavily.

"Yeah sit and spin." said Natalie sarcastically. That is where the group decided to stay that night, hoping that Kirara was able to find her way back to them. Sango barely slept at all. The moon was full and it illuminated the whole forest so that you could almost have confused day with night. _Should I go and look for her? _Thought Sango. Quietly she got up and changed into her battle outfit. By the time she was halfway through the forest, far away from anyone to here her, Sango called Kirara's name several times. Suddenly a hand touched her on the shoulder.

"She'll come back."A man's voice said. Sango turned around so fast that she almost fell over. She was looking straight into Miroku's face.

"I still want to look for her." Sango said.

"Fine. Then I'll help you. After all, two is better than one right?" Miroku said. Sango blushed a little then turned around.

"Fine." She said brusquely. They kept walking until they reached a river. It was there that they found none other than Kirara. She was drinking from the river. Sango greeted her and sat down beside her. Miroku joined them. He put his arm around Sango, and it all would have went well, if he hadn't tried to touch her ass. . .again. Sango slapped him so hard that Kirara ran back to the rest of the group who slowly began to awake.

"What the hell was that?" asked Inuyasha. Kirara came out from behind one of the trees and dashed toward Natalie and Sam. She purred and licked their faces. Sango came shortly after. She walked quickly and looked pissed as hell. Behind her was Miroku, who had the reddest slap mark yet no his face. He rubbed it carefully.

"Let's go." said Sango. Natalie and Sango got on Kirara's back with shippo, Sam go on Inuyasha's back, and Miroku ran all by himself. It was morning already when they reached the outskirts of Kaede's village. Once inside of the village they went to Kaede's house.

"Finally!" Inuyasha said, "Now this old hag will leave me alone!" Sam couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. Kaede hurried them all inside and made them sit down.

"So do you have the crack?" She asked.

"Here's your damn sacred sake. Now can we go?" Inuyasha asked.

"One more task." Kaede replied.

"Bye." Said Inu. He motioned everyone to come. They did as told and went outside.

"Now what?" Sam asked Inu. She had to push over his hair to see his face.

"Look for more shards. We have no time to waste!" He said confidently.

-Line Break - at a random house -

"What do you think it is?" One man asked. He was really young and was standing next to another young man who looked identical. Almost like brothers.

"I don't know. Maybe we should show it to father." The other said.

"Nah. Let's keep this to ourselves this time. We might not see it again if it falls into his hands."The first man said again.

"If we get in trouble, it's your fault!" That was the second man.

"Your such a goody two shoes."

-Line Break-back to the group-

"Inuyasha I sense a shard." Said Natalie.

"Me too. It's nearby." Sam said.

"Where?!" Inuyasha asked eagerly.

"There." Sam replied pointing to a large house. It was secluded from any other house or village. Inuyasha knocked on the door.

"God don't beat it down!" Shippo said.

"Shut up I want that shard! Then it's one more step closer to defeating that gaylord Naraku." Inuyasha explained.

"Move aside." said Sam just when an older man opened the door.

"Who are all you" If you're the IRS, I don't owe you shit. I already paid." he said.

"We are but travelers who need a place to stay that night and we just happened to come across your home." Sam explained.

"Yes yes of course, come in." The man said anxiously. He hurried them to two large, empty rooms. "We don't have many guests so I don't really bother to use these rooms. I'll have them ready by dinner." The man left and headed toward the opposite end of the house.

"Let's chill for a while." Miroku said.

"Yeah I wonder what there is to eat." Shippo said. He too had left the room.

"I'll be outside." Inu said.

"Me too!" Sam said and followed him. Sango and Natalie left all of their things in the room. They decided to stay there and help the man. Meanwhile, outside:

"Where is it coming from?" Inu asked. He and Sam were sitting on the stairs in the backyard. Two young men were playing with something shiny and small.

"Quick over there!" Sam said pointing to the young men. They quickly looked at Inu and began to run. Inu grabbed them both and held them up by the shirt. One dropped the fascinating object. Inuyasha immediately dropped them at once and dove for the shikon shard.

"So, YOU two had it!" He said.

"Give that back you demon!" One yelled.

"DAD!!" The other screamed. The older man from earlier came out of the house.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" he said to the men. "I'm sorry were my kids bothering you?" he asked.

"Kids?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. They had this!" Inuyasha replied and held up the jewel shard. Just then, the man and his children began to transform. His kids became ugly creatures, like demons. The man transformed into another man but with excess parts of a demon. He had long black wavy hair and seemed to be wearing purple eyeliner. He was wearing a blue kimono.

"NARAKU!?" Inuyasha burst out. Sam grabbed the shard out of Inuyasha's hand just as Naraku was about to and put it in her bra.

"You'll have to reach in and get it." Sam said. Naraku took a few steps back. Just then a voice came over the loud speaker in the house (Alright I know they didn't have them 500 years ago but in this story they do so just go along with it!).

"Inuyasha please come to the front, we have your undies! They have little pink teddy bears." A voice said. It sounded like Shippo's. Inu's face turned red. Sam and Naraku began to laugh hysterically. Inuyasha burst through the door. There was no one in the house, so he wound up kicking down the front door too. Outside everyone was laughing. Shippo began to run from Inuyasha. The whole time that Inu beat up Shippo, he forgot all about Naraku who had kidnaped Sam and made his escape once again.


	9. Loveless

Inuyasha Remix

Chapter 8 - Loveless

"Inuyasha! Hey Inuyasha!" Natalie called. She was waving to him frantically from the forsaken house. He spun around and scanned all of the people who were standing there. Natalie, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and there was supposed to be one more, but her face was missing from the others.

"What?" he asked walking toward them. Tensusaiga was laid across his shoulder and his other free hand was on his hip.

"Inuyasha, what happened to Sam?" asked Sango. Inuyasha's face turned from confused to angry within seconds. He put his sword in its sheath then balled his hands into fists.

"Naraku..." he muttered. He was shaking now. "I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!" he burst out. Inu began to run the other way into the forest. Sango and the others got on Kirara's back (poor Kirara) and followed him.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku called across the great distance between them. "Where are you going?" Even Inu didn't know exactly where they were going yet. See that's what happens to men when they get angry. They storm off but have no clue where they are going. If they actually do know where they are going then on the way there they don't come up with anything to say to the person they are going to see. Therefore, they just randomly start flipping out and wind up saying something stupid. No offense to the boys out there but a lot of men do it and girls are always right.

"To find Samantha." he explained. "I'm going to get her back no matter what! It's my nindo! My ninja way BELIEVE IT!"

"Inuyasha!" Natalie called this time. "You are not Naruto and you are not a ninja. Wrong anime dumbass!" Inuyasha ignored her. Yes, he knew it was the wrong anime, but he still wanted to try Naruto's catch phrase. Soon everyone came to a complete and total stop.

"What's wrong? We're in the middle of no where!" Said Shippo. He sat up against a tree. Kirara yawned and layed down. If only she didn't have to carry so many people all the time...don't give me that look either.

"I can still smell Sam and Naraku's scents. Everyone, please stay here. I must bring Sam back on my own." Inu said. He sounded a little too tragic.

"Psshh. Inuyasha, I will go too or you might die." Miroku said. He smiled.

"No. I must go alone." Inu said turning away.

"Inuyasha we know you are not serious. You want our help it's written all over your face." Shippo said.

"If you must. Let's go Miroku, you freaking perv." Inu said. They headed off, leaving the others in their little group. They would probably remain there until the perv and the hanyou came back. Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere, Inuyasha clung to the ground as if he had cherished it and would not let go for anything. "They aren't that far." Soon they came upon a split in the path. Now it was either one way or the other.

"Inuyasha can you tell which way?" Miroku asked.

"No." he replied unclinging from the earth.(If unclinging ain't a word, it is now!) They both looked at each path. It was obvious which way they should go. On the left, it looked sunny and bright. There were no clouds in the sky on that half and there were many flowers. However, on the right, it had a sinister look to it. The sky was black and plant life was scarce. Both men nodded and began going right._ That must be the way to his castle. _Inu thought. The woods came to an end and they emerged into a wide open field. In the middle sat a large building. There was no other house around. Obviously this was Naraku's castle. Inu was 500 percent sure.

Maury: Ok if you are that positive then let's find out the results right now. In the case of Inunacho and Meeroekuu finding out if this is Naraku's castle or not -

Ok people I'll stop now...

They walked up to the door. Compared to the castle, Inuyasha and Miroku looked like ants. They took a moment to take in the scene. Finally, without thinking, Inuyasha rang the doorbell. I know, you think he's a dumbass and your right but it was a red button and we all know that they can be tempting. Inside the large residence, somebody was stumbling over things. Whoever they were, they sure had a bad mouth. They were cursing every one and a half seconds. Then, the door opened wide. There, before the two men, was the second most horrible sight that they had ever seen. (First most horrible sight is in Truth or Dare: Inuyasha Style) A tall man stood there in an extremely short bath robe. When I say extremely short, I mean you could almost see his kunai (if you know what I mean). He had a towel on his head, the same color as the robe, tickle me pink. There was a fancy initial printed on the robe. It was hard to see from where the men were standing, but it was a capital "N".

Inuyasha and Miroku stared open mouthed in amazement at the half naked Naraku. Naraku had dark purple and blue eyeshadow smeared across his forehead and faintly, there was a little smeared lip pencil. _Does this guy really have no life? _Miroku thought. Naraku readied to slam the door in their faces but Inuyasha ripped it off the hinges easily before Naraku even had a chance to extend his arm.

"Hold it Mr." Inu said. Stepping through the door. Miroku followed.

"I can explain!" Naraku said. He had a shrill voice now. Inuyasha pushed him into a door. . .hard. Naraku almost fell through.

"Where is Samantha? TELL ME DAMMIT!" Inu yelled.

"Inuyasha!" A girl's voice called from one of the floors.

"She's on the fifty seventh floor. After that, we battle." Naraku said. "I must change for this is quite embarrassing.

"Fine." Inuyasha said brusquely. Miroku and Inuyasha ran up twenty stair cases before Miroku noticed an elevator to the far left.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku said slightly panting.

"What?" Inu asked angrily.

"Elevator." Miroku replied. Inuyasha ran his hand over his face then followed Miroku into the elevator. As they went up, Miroku was singing to the elevator music.

"I believe I can fly, oh shit I'm gonna die! Inu I would really like a chicken wing!" At that point, the elevator stopped. They were at floor fifty-seven. When the doors opened, they came out into a huge room. In the middle of the ceiling hung a large, spinning disco ball. There was no furniture except one large, and I mean **huge **bed all the way in the back against the wall. The walls were also plain except for a large portrait of Naraku above the bed.

"What do you think this room is for?" Inu asked.

"Possibly his bedroom?" Miroku replied. The door in the corner that was just noticed had burst open. Two little boys fell out. They were sweating, and they looked like they had been crying. They also looked scared and their bodies shook all over from what seemed like fear. Inu could sense it in them. The boys ran into the elevator and before Inu and Miroku knew it, they were gone.

"What...the hell...were they...doing...here...of all places?" Miroku asked. He recalled the time of which he almost got raped. He definitely didn't want that to happen again.

"Help! Inuyasha I am going to kick you if you don't help me! Well, maybe not. I love you. Just wanted to tell you. If you care. Yeah." That was a girl's voice. Much like Sam's. She sounded close, like the next floor up. Inuyasha quickly took out tensusaiga and jumped through the ceiling.

"Damn." said Miroku. He took the elevator. Sam was handcuffed and tied to a chair.

"Are you alright? He didn't do anything to you right?" Inu asked.

"Yea I'm fine if he touched me, believe me my size 10's would go straight up his ass." Sam replied. Inuyasha immediately freed her and she got on his back. The small group headed back to the first floor. However, the elevator stopped on the fifth.

"Dammit dammit dammit!" Inu shouted.

"Calm down." Sam said. She was almost asleep but he woke her up. It was late, but now Inu understood why they had stopped.

"Welcome hanyou, to my battle arena. Nice eh?" Naraku asked greeting them. He was now in his normal outfit. The one you'd see in the anime. No make up was smeared on his face this time and there was no towel around his head. The room really did look like an arena. Sam and Miroku stood on the landing.

"Alright Naraku. It's howdy doody time." Inu said sounding all serious about it. So the senseless battle began. It was the same old crap. Miasma, Saimiosho, Iron Reaver Soul Stealer, Wind Scar, I think you get the point. Sam yawned.

"Yoooooooo Inuyashaaaa can we like go. C'mon I'm tired. Give it up. No one will win." She said.

"What? Dude I'm almost finished here. Give me five minutes with this asshole." Inu said.

"Yeah uh...you know she's actually right. Let's stop. What are we even fighting?" Naraku asked.

"We are fighting because you kidnaped her. I am angry. I was revenge." Inu replied.

"Yeah but we don't even have all the shards. Let's fight when we have all of them. Then we can decide who is better." Naraku exclaimed.

"Alright." said Inu. He put the tensusaiga back into its sheath, nodded, then motioned Sam and Miroku over to him.

"So, I guess I'll uh...see ya then." Inu said.

"Yeah."

"Yea...for now we are acquenamies."

"What?"

"Acquaintances / enemies DUH!"

"Oh okay. So this is it."

"Yup."

"DUDE LET'S GO!" Sam complained. She was definitely tired. The bags under her eyes said it all. Naraku stood there as his so called "guests" left. Now he would prepare for next time when they would meet. He had been waiting to do it again for a long time now. The technique that Inuyasha hated him for. Yup. Read chapter ten to find out what I'm talking about.


	10. Kinkyho Returns

Inuyasha Remix

Chapter 9 – Kinky-ho returns

The sun was shining high and the temperature was warm around sixty five degrees when everyone awoke. That was what the rest of the day seemed to be like. Inuyasha was staring at the blue cloudless sky above. It had been a few days since they had encountered anyone or found anymore shards since their run in with Naraku. Today it was Sam's turn to wear the necklace. The jewel fragment glistened around her neck. "What's wrong with him?" Asked Sango. She was standing next to Sam and they were both curiously watching Inuyasha.

"I don't know. He's staring into space again. He was doing that yesterday too." Sam replied. _It's been fifty whole years since I've seen you. I wonder where you are right now. _Inuyasha thought. Shippo suddenly smacked him upside the head.

"You are going to DIE now little man!" Inu yelled, raising a fist to the little fox demon.

"What is your problem?" Shippo asked.

"Hmph. Problem? I don't have time for this shit. Let's go, we need to go find more jewel shards." Inu replied. He sounded angry, but the others couldn't figure out at who or what for. There wasn't really anything else to do besides looking for shards, I mean c'mon its feudal Japan. No computers to write fan fictions, no radio or Ipods. Some people would die….heh heh heh. Instead of searching, they decided to take the day off for a change. They settled on the outskirts of a forest near a cliff. Why a cliff, I don't know. Miroku went to go look for medicinal herbs (and maybe scar some women while he was at it), Shippo went to go look for acorns (which I can secretly throw at him later…heh heh heh), Sango went with Sam to train for battle, and Natalie was in her own little world along with Inuyasha.

Evening quickly rolled around and it was almost dinner time. Natalie and Sango worked hard to get and make the food. Inu was sitting near the edge of the cliff, away from the others. He looked like he was in a daze, staring into space again. Sam quietly sat down next to him.

"Moshi moshi Inu-kun. What's wrong?" Sam asked, not taking her eyes off of him.

"Nothing. How long have you been there?" Inu replied, returning with a question. He started looking away until Sam asked the next question.

"Not long. So tell me Inu, do you have relationship problems? No wait you can't because you're in love with me…..never mind no problems there." Sam exclaimed.

"God will you shut up? I hate all you people. I just want the jewel." Inu said, blushing a little. Sam wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug.

"I wuv you Inu-kun. I know you wuv me too! C'mon admit it!" She teased.

"Get off! Ok I do now will you go away?" Inu asked. Sam smiled.

"Yay! Inu loves me!" She said happily. Natalie appeared behind them so suddenly that Sam almost fell off the cliff when she flinched. Yes Natalie, you would love it if that happened wouldn't you?

"Yo peeps let's eat!" Natalie said. There was a painful silence as everyone ate. The only audible noise was an owl that hooted every now and then. Day became night very fast like when you shut off a light (I know crappy comparison but I couldn't think of anything else ok?). The group was preparing to go to bed. Miroku tried to sleep near Sango, but that resulted in another slap to the face.

Meanwhile…

"Inuyasha I will find you and bring you to hell with me! WAKAKAKAKAKA!!" A woman said. She had long black hair, and long red kimono pants. Her shirt was the same as Inuyasha's but it was white instead of red. She was trying to sound all evil and shit AND she knew where the group was. Soon, she'd be face to face with her former lover.

Back at the cliff…

"Oh my God!" Inu burst out, springing up from his sleep.

"What?" Asked Sam, who had also woken up. That wasn't such a good idea. Wake me up and you will be tied to the bath tub with my thirty one year old Spanish teacher.

"That smell! I know that smell! Could it seriously be her?" Inu questioned himself. A woman emerged from behind one of the trees and stood before everyone who now had all been awake. They stared in shock except for Natalie and Sam. They were pissed.

"K-Kikyo…is that you?" Inu asked making sure it wasn't another demon in disguise.

"No dumbass it's a leprechaun. Who the hell do you think it is?" Natalie said. She was just like Sam.

"Yes, it is I." Kinky-ho replied. "Come with me Inuyasha."

"Where?" He asked, puzzled. There really weren't many places to go.

"To hell." Sam interrupted. "Where you're gonna be together eternally. No more friends, just that ancient crinkly bitch the whole entire time. Now do you really want that? One day she is going to turn into dust and you are going to be all alone."

"How do you know?" Kinky-ho asked, astonished.

"I wrote this story BITCH!" Sam replied. She crossed her arms and stood in front of Inu.

"Kikyo…" Inuyasha muttered. He stood up and was about to walk over to her when Sam took out his Tensusaiga. Natalie stared in horror.

"Sam what the fuck are you doing? He is going to kill everyone in sight now! You know he needs his sword in order to stay half demon!" Natalie shouted. Sam wasn't paying attention. She was talking to Inuyasha.

"Kill that bitch! She shot you damn it! How are you going to fall in love with someone who could have killed you on the spot if she wanted to? Kill her Inuyasha! KILL HER!" Sam yelled. A tear ran down her face. She knew that he could possibly kill them as well. All of them watched as Inuyasha began to change. His eyes were red; and his fangs grew out a little longer, as well as his nails. If anyone could stop him, it was Sam. She had the sword. Inuyasha looked at Kikyo and then at Sam, unsure of which one was his target. Finally, he threw himself at Kikyo, ready to attack. He sliced her arms and stomach. Kikyo stumbled towards the cliff.

Finally, Inuyasha kicked her in the face, and she fell back. "Inuyasha…..why?" She said before falling to her death. Sam quickly ran up to him and put his sword back in its sheath, and then she hugged him.

"Finally, now we can sleep knowing that the bitch is gone. Ha, we got rid of both! Way to go Sam!" Natalie said. She looked similar to Kikyo, only if her hair had been black instead of dirty blonde. Natalie was a good archer too. Let me tell you, I shot an arrow and it came back in my face. Natalie shot one and hit the target dead on. Anyway, Kikyo was gone, and Sam had Inu to herself now….or did she?

* * *

A/N: I know. This was a short chapter, but I had to finish this one to make the next one!! Besides I had to get rid of Kinky-ho. In chapter 10, a special interview with all of the characters.


	11. Special Interview Chapter

Inuyasha Remix

Chapter 10 – Interview with the Characters!

Welcome to an Inuyasha Remix special chapter! We are going to interview the characters about….Kagome! You guys didn't think I killed her when Nat and I threw her down the well did you? Of course not! I hate her and all, but what is the Inuyasha anime without a retard like Kagome? I know you Kagome fans are so pissed right now. Well, whatever hater.

Sam: Alright everybody! First question. What do you think about the way that Kagome dresses? I mean seriously this is like feudal Japan where you don't have to be eighteen to get married. Anything could happen! There might even be more pedophiles…..you never know. ANYWAY let's hear first from Sango.

Sango: Well, I don't really care I mean what's wrong with what she wears? Her shirt is alright, but honestly her skirt is like kind of too short to wear out in public. And the way she falls down all the time off a cliff around all the enemies who are mostly guys anyway, it's like "wow want to look up my skirt?"

Miroku: (smiling) I particularly like the way that she dresses I mean what is wrong with that? Come on guys you are being to harsh! I wouldn't even mind if she wore something shorter. (Stares at Natalie and Sam)

Natalie: If you so much as look at my boobs I will beat the living shit out of you with a sandwich. Got that lecher?

Sam: Let's go to Shippo, then Inuyasha.

Shippo: What?

Inuyasha: What are you all looking at me for! I don't care about what she wears. It DOES seem like she's trying to make herself available….whatever only Miroku would be interested in that kind of shit anyway. Sam what did I tell you? I hate you bitches I just want the jewel. Miroku can have Kagome.

Miroku: Kagome AND Sango? WOO!

Sango: What? No! Miroku peace off you piece of shit!

Natalie: Alright on to question two. Don't you think Kagome's mom seems a little TOO happy? This is for Inuyasha only because none of you guys know her.

Inuyasha: Oh here we go. Finally someone to roast. I can't wait. Her mom is like the fucking happiest person on this planet. HOW THE HELL DOES SHE DO IT? Whatever that bitch is on PU-LEASE can I have some because she just let's her first child go off into who the hell knows where and she can do whatever she wants. Wouldn't she be at least a little concerned about it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Anyway I just think she is on some kind of happy pills because that is what she seems like.

Sam: Wow.

Natalie: Really makes you wonder holyman.

Sam: Question three. What do you guys think about Kagome missing all of this school and testing? She must be the luckiest bitch on the freaking planet.

Inuyasha: SHUT UP PEOPLE. I got this one. Alright, I don't know how the hell she does it, but she is always missing school. It is no freaking wonder she is a retard. I mean one little demon comes flying into her face and she stands there and expects me to come. You know one of these days I'm not gonna be there and that demon is gonna bust her ass. Next question.

Natalie: Shouldn't like the police have already come to her house because it's illegal not to go to school….I think I don't know. I mean you are supposed to go. Education is everything. She'll be some hobo living in a box just like that dude who made banjo hero. He still wants his banjo and somehow he knows where my house is. Oh yeah, question four. What are your opinions on Hojo? Present Hojo.

Inuyasha: Well –

Miroku: Shut up Inuyasha. I want to say something! Judging by the Hojo in this time, who happens to be really stupid, the Hojo in the present must be the same. Besides, Kagome should be with me! C'mon can SOMEBODY bear me a child?! The badger was right, I should have got a prostitute. (Sango stares in shock)

Sango: WHAT!? Miroku I thought you wanted me.

Miroku: Yours will be all dried up and useless by the time you give it up. Your breast milk will be freaking powder by then so you know what? Just shut up.

Shippo: I think that the Hojo here is pretty nice I mean he does help us out with a lot of shit.

Inuyasha: Watch your language you little brat! You are waaaaay too young to even begin understanding what the hell we are talking about.

Natalie: If somebody were to invent Banjo hero, would you even play it?

Sango: What kind of a question is THAT?

Natalie: JUST ANSWER IT DAMN IT! Damn I need doughnuts. Brenna you whore.

Sango: I…..I guess so. What the hell is Banjo hero?

Natalie: Banjo Hero 2.

Miroku: Wasn't there a first one?

Natalie: Heh heh heh that's what you think. The hobo busted out of the crack in the wall after robbing doughnuts and shit from Dunkin Doughnuts and McDonalds.

Inuyasha: I'm sorry, can you go back to the part about the hobo busting out of the crack in the wall?

Natalie: Onto the question five.

Shippo: I HATE THE BANJO! IT ROBBED ME OF MY VIRGINITY! (Everyone stares with a blank face)

Natalie: AS I WAS SAYING….question five, why do you need to pretend to water your fake plants? Answer right and we'll give you animal crackers, answer wrong and we kill your whole family.

Miroku: Oh shit….Umm….so the fake plants don't….die? DON'T KILL MY FAMILY PLEASE I WANT A CHILD!!

Sango: I'M PREGNANT!

(O.O)

Sam: Umm…yea let's just stop right now. Sorry to cut it short but we have to go pretend to water our fake plants or they are going to die. In the next chapter, Naraku returns and you are never going to believe what kind of battle we are going to have.


End file.
